Perseverance

Wow okay I just had a mind blank on how to spell perseverance!(It took me 5 times what even)

Anyways, we are progressing along with the year, since June is arriving in a few days time! Time really does fly. My Dad emailed me my letter of acceptance from Collingwood College (squeal) and I am so excited/nervous! I haven't been to school in like a year. I wonder how socially awkward I'll be... Otherwise, I am determined to do my best right through to when I finish my Year 12 exams! I need to score 99 or higher so I can get a scholarship to Melbourne Uni! Ganbatte! ("Do your best!") I will succeed to fullfil my dream of becoming a doctor!!

I wonder how I'll do with juggling school and 2 jobs. Challenge accepted. This means less time at obsessing over anime xD Some people do this anime as nonsense, but there's some that really relate to you and hits close to home. There's a few animes where I've cried my eyes out and laughed like there's no tomorrow. I don't know... it gives me comfort during these tough times. My most favourite animes have got to be: Fruits Basket [ ALL TIME FAVE THIS ONE MESSES WITH YOU EMOTIONALLY] - The manga and anime are both amazing.

1. Ouran High School Host Club [You will basically laugh your ass off and your shipper heart will go cray] - This was one of the first anime I've watched and I LOVE IT. It's truly a must watch.
2. Hakuoki [OKAY THIS ONE WILL MAKE YOUR HEART ACHE] - Ugh this show really makes you have all types of feels. Though it's quite a historical anime (we're talking about the samurai period here aka Shinsengumi), the story line is fabulous. It was originally an Otome game , but I do believe it appeals to all ages. It's reverse harem, so you know there's a few guys that one girl, but it's not too soppy but the budding feelings are really cute. BE WARNED THAT THERE ARE DEATH SCENES THAT WILL RIP YOUR HEART OUT. But really it's a must watch! There's 3 seasons plus 6 OVAs and I'm awaiting for the movie to come out in August 2013! Saitou Hajime is my love <3
3. Kimi ni Todoke- The romance is very sweet and cute. The protagonist is an outcast because of the way she looks (They call here Sadako, from the ring, but her name's Sawako) but she's just an innocent, nice girl who wants to be accepted. Ofcourse, there's the nice popular guy who brings her out of her misery! There's 2 seasons and the third episode of the 1st season made be bawl lololol

These are just a few, I've also watched La Corda D'oro, Hiiro no Kakera, Special A, Kaichou wa Maid-sama! , Uta no Prince sama maji love 1000% /2000% etc.

I'm in the midst of watching Chihayafuru and it's so god damn good! I'm about to finish watching 1st season and then I'll be off to season 2! Watch it yo!

My job at the video rental store is fairly easy, just have to scan, sort dvds and serve customers using the cash register. Though sometimes I get jittery, like I panic because I'm handling money and the customers watching me! Gah! But I just have to get used to it ! One of managers is really nice to me and often teases me? But meh, it's a relax job!

My blogilates regime has been going good. My core is as strong as ever and I can do more than 10 proper push ups! I can feel the muscle growing! Hahah unfortunately it shows on the scale, I went from 64kg to 67kg! That's okay though, once the fat is gone, the scales will lower. I'm also feeling so much more fitter! Cassey (aka blogilates creator) recently blogged about doing a diet bet! POPsters have to put in $25 and if we lose 4% of our body weight from June 3-30 , we can get our $25 back plus the share of those who didn't meet the goal!  GONNA DO IT! :D

Oh! I also made a Savings Jar a few days ago and whatever goes inside will contribute to my end of Year 12 trip to Europe and Japan!! Can't stop the travel bug inside of me :3 Also will be using it for games (Hakuoki PSP game pls) , maybe a car, university stuff like books. So determined!

Off to do some sorting of documents now whilst I wait for my sis to bring back Gnocchi!~~~~~~

Progress

Wow. April is ending in 2 days time. And it's going to be 5 months into 2013. Can I just say how fast this year is going? Like.... I'm going to be 17 soon!

Anyways, past few days, I haven't been eating clean (unfortunately) , and it doesn't help when your sister is a fan of unhealthy, oily foods. But this week, I'm going to eat less, but when I eat, it has to be clean, filling and healthy. Like, I feel kinda bloated and crummy on the inside right now . Sigh. Why the heck does unhealthiness taste so good?!

Hopefully this week there will be some light on my enrolment progress. If CLC doesn't accept me, then it's either Preston Girls' Secondary or Melbourne Girls' College. (I'm hoping for the latter)

I've been passing time by watching heaps of animes. I am assuming that many people are face palming at this. I don't know what it is, but watching anime just helps me relieve some stress. It takes me to a different world, much like reading books, and makes me laugh, cry or get frustrated at the same time. (Tumblr vocab: Feels) I should really be studying but I don't know where to start? I'm assuming I'll be okay when I do actually start school. I am determined. I need to work hard to regain all my unused brain cells (is that even right?)

My ambition still includes being a doctor.... but I do have some doubts. Like I am interested in the traveling or marine biology field... but I do want to help people. I do want to make a difference. But I somehow feel the pressure. Will I be able to make it to and through med school? Will I be the best in that department? Am I okay with the fact that someone will be willing to entrust their life to my hands?

It's kinda scary. BUT. I will not know if I don't try. I need to take risks in life. Or else it would be boring, no?

Nowhere but up from here.

Alot of things have been happening. Mostly good things. My dad's business is getting better and WE PAID MY NEGS DEBT!!!!!!!! You have no idea how much relief I am feeling. It's been almost a year since I've been to school. So now I'm in contact with Catholic Ladies College to organise enrolment so I can start school as soon as possible. Now it's just paying my sister's fees which will be done next week :3

I've been loving my job since I have a very laidback boss who makes me tea and gives me snacks ! She told me she relies on my a lot with the piling work, and I sort of feel...honoured. Because someone needs me. Plus pay is good, and I am able to support myself in someways and pay some bills.

Yesterday, I was in good spirits. It was a majorly pampering day. I met with my sister at Prahran and we had cheap but yummy chinese food (The Shanghai Dumpling House). You can sort of tell some stuff were microwaved, but it WAS cheap and the taste wasn't that bad either, I mean I loved the Shanghai fried rice with pork and vegetables! The red bean buns were great too!

So after seeing the time and predicting that we were going to be late for our hair appointment if we don't hurry, I scoffed my fried rice down (Lord) and packed some dumplings and we headed to the tram stop.

Volume Hair in Windsor is wonderful. Wonderful service from the people in there, and they give really good advice in maintaining your hair. My sister used her groupon voucher whilst I did the Wash and Cut. The end result was fantastic. All my straight bits from previously rebonding were all cut off and my hair felt so much lighter and healthier. The lady styled my curls with some product and all the surrounding hair stylists complimented my hair! xD In short, I am LOVING my hair. My sister's hair turned out great too, she did some blond/brown foiling and cut some bangs.

After waiting for her to be done (almost 2h after I was done -.- But it's okay I was watching Julie and Julia on my iphone) , we coincidentally walked past San Churro so we couldn't resist. So fresh churros and decadent hot chocolate followed.

Okay so I was pudgy by the end of the day, and I freaking died after walking past Ben and Jerry's after San Churro. ;_;

But besides that, we had some grim news. My grandma from my Dad's side was in hospital! She couldn't breathe properly, and doctors said she could have a heart attack anytime soon. But now she's doing okay. Thank God.

Sigh I'm genuinely not looking forward to the 23rd. Because it's house inspection and they have found out about of forbidden cat! There's going to be lecturing I can tell, since we are younger. -.0

I think it's time I did some blogilates! This girl has been kicking my butt and giving me abs! :D

Life is all about change.

Does that sound too philosophical? Had a major fight with my sister last night. I think it's the fact that there's only 2 of us in this house and it's easy to get into one. This morning I tried talking to her and she didn't reply so this how it's going to be for awhile.

I realised... we're 2 very different people. I don't think we know alot about each other at all. I spent nearly 4 years away from Singapore, and that's a very long time. She keeps saying how I try to be a "neutral" person but I'm not, apparently. Isn't being neutral how people should be? That's what I'm trying to be. I don't want to judge people, though it's very common in human nature. I'm not perfect, but I'm striving to be better. You can't shoot people down to what they once were when they're trying to get up on their feet.

Anyways, change. That's what I strive for. To be better. I know I can be very unfriendly and judging at times, but that's my defence mechanism. I don't want to get hurt, as you know how emotional I can be. My favourite virtual trainer, Miss Cassey Ho (aka blogilates) , once said that how we react to a situation, determines our happiness. We choose how we feel. I've been subtly stressed for a long time. I keep hoping for it to change soon, but you know sometimes you just want it to be your own way. How everything is supposed to be. I need to live more positively. This is, after all, my only life that I can life.

I'm off to do some blogilates, gotta keep up with the calendar you know!

I really don't understand

Why do people get things that other people deserve more of? My fucking sister gets to go to school, and she doesn't even want to do the course that she applied for. AND I DON'T AND I'M STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL. I'm supposed to be graduating this year but I'm being held back a year since I missed so much school.

Life is so unfair.
It really is...

The other day my sister stated she sometimes wonders why we're in Australia, cause it seems we pay bills all the time here. Qurl I would rather be here than in Singapore. Australia will forever be my home. Can't my sister go back and give me my life back? This sounds super selfish... but I feel as if she's taking away what is mine. She's is totally not independent for a 21 year old. Seriously.

I would rather be living in my own apartment with my dream dog and invite friends over whenever and just be... chill.

ugh okay I'm going to do some blogilates so ease the stress away. >:(

Thursday Trouble boooo

I got so pissed tonight. Pissed as in ANGRY. We bought pre-marinated Tandoori Chicken so I just shoved in the oven for an hour. For the side dish, my sister requested honey carrots but I was thinking of doing something Indian-y and tried to made Daal! It was...an okay success, nothing too big, but it was my first try! (plus it wasn't my dad's recipe) It took quite awhile to make too. So as the Daal was finishing, my sister asked for the carrots. And well, I didn't make the carrots cause how many side dishes was I supposed to make? She got angry and basically gave me the emotionless expression she always does (along with her black heart) and didn't even try the Daal.

Sister dear, I got 2 words to say to you. FUCK YOU.

Atleast try it! I thought it would be a nice accompaniment. I still can't believe she's 20. Did you know in total my pay from my holiday job: about $900 , I SPENT ON HER AND ME. Because my dad couldn't send over money. I bought groceries, junk food etc. sigh...and it's all gone. If my sister worked when she was in Singapore (She whined when my dad told her to get her job) then we would have more money and I wouldn't have to spend on both of us! May I remind you I'm 16. Responsibility? She has none.

UGH I'm probably riled up because of all the built up stress. I have yet to go to school and I spend everyday at home with my cat until she returns from school. She also asks me if we have a particular meat or veggie or spice at home and I say I'm not sure. She expects me to know since I live at home 24/7. Again, FUCK YOU. I don't have a choice.

The only thing I can do now is find a job so I can have something new in my life and interact with more people. I have a job interview on Tues, so I am hoping it goes well.

I really cannot wait until I have enough money to rent my own apartment and get a husky friend . Or more realistically for now, I can't wait until whole family come over so I don't have to interact with this sarcastic, heartless demon all the time. (Sometimes when she talks to me angrily/sarcastically, I feel like shooting myself.)

Man, I just needed to blow off some steam. I'm just... desperate for my life to continue normally! Like a normal teenage girl who gets to go to school atleast ....

ANYWAYS

I've been doing the blogilates workout calendar and has it been a killer! Great workouts by none other than Miss Cassey Ho and I can see some small changes. I wonder what I'll look like in the long run!

I should probably go to sleep now. I need to wake up at 6am for my mile run!

What I love about myself

So according to Cass from Blogilates, I have to write things that I love about myself.

Okay er.

Hmmm.

• My Eyes
• My Curly Hair
• I can draw witty cartoons hehe
• My train of thought is more logical, though sometimes can be driven by emotions
• OCD on cleanliness ( This is sort of a perk since I won't live in filth?)
• My baking skillz
• I'm a good analyser 
• I am starting to extend my personal bubble
• I do make good muffins/cupcakes
• My weird sense of humour hohohoho
• My desire to be a better person
• My stubborn streak and determination 
• My imagination
• My will to be successful when I'm older

Okay I think that's it. I had to think for awhile. Well it's more than I thought!! 

#MarchMakeover

Kickstart to healthiness

Today was Day 1 of starting blogilates for the year. It's quite late then my intended resolution start, but nonetheless I have started it! And boy, was it tough. My ab strength has somewhat deteriorated. (SOB) The moves that I could do last year was now quite hard to do. BOOOOO HISSS I now have to put in extra effort to get fit! That includes eating healthier!

Speaking of which, I'm right now preparing Avocado and tomato spread on wholemeal bread with boiled broccoli and egg! I plan to turn it into a lifestyle. I want to have a future that does not include obesity related health problems.

Ofcourse I will have to have some YOLO meals I mean come on, you're talking to the girl that puts 3 sugars in her tea.

It's going to be tough guys, but I will get there! >:D

Home

It's been well over a week since I got home. To Melbourne that is! I'm trying my best to get a job and I'm going to kick start my fitness regime on Monday since my fast internet is back on. It's time for me to take my lifestyle seriously. That includes sleeping early (erk) , eating healthy, exercising regularly and being positive and happy.

You know, I started out this year quite.... out of plan. I was angry. Angry at my friendships. Angry at money issues. Angry at society. Well... I was just an angry person. I felt unappreciated and as if my life wasn't going anywhere. You have no idea how desperate I am to go to school. I want to be around people my age and have that usual pre-test stress (lololol) . Sounds cheesy... but it's been awhile since I've been to school. Nowadays... I just feel alone.


But I need to change. I need to get myself out there. Everything will fall into place. It just takes time. Somedays I don't feel like waiting, and that's where I need someone to reassure me.

Right now, only I can reassure myself.

Exhausted

I have a love-hate relationship with my job . Since I'm at customer service, it makes me feel good if a genuine nice customer greets me and I serve him/her properly. However, the ones that are so picky, rude and racist just gets on my nerves. Like what the actual fuck. Anyways, I'm doing this job just for the money and experience. That sounds horrible, but working in Singapore is the worst possible thing you can do. So so SO keen to go back to Melbourne and be happy again. Australia is now my home.

I'm looking forward to starting school and getting respectable pay at my choice of work place and just being in Australia is great! 

Not long now!

But I'm kinda not looking forward to sharing a place with my sister. She can really frustrate me and she can be very mean and heartless when it comes to words. You know sometimes I feel like punching, then proceeding to kicking the shit out of her, but what can I do to that lazy asshole, she's my , sigh, sister after all. 

My goal is to move out when I'm at university into an apartment by myself and get a siberian husky named Shima! It'll be gr8.

On the other hand, Boss Mabel episode coming out Feb 15th!

Yay!

sigh

Friends are a fucking waste of time.

.

Feeling quite unappreciated lately. :(

Why did I even

First day of werk (twerk) was hectic. I managed to piss 2 people off lol. The first one was a lady. I kept stuffing up the card machine (hey I don't do well under pressure should I even be a doctor lol) and she lost patience. I WAS ABOUT TO GIVE HER THE RIGHT CARD and she walked off. sigh.

The second one was completely unnecessary. I was manning the redemption counter and this old guy comes up. I SWEAR I heard him say "Where's the Home Department" so I said B1. Then he looked at me in this irritating manner and emphasised as if I was dumb, " Are. You. Sure. The Men's Underwear Section!?!?!" I wanted to punch him. I apologised since it was supposedly the right thing to do and I said it was on L3. He then asked for a specific brand. How the hell am I supposed the know every brand? So I politely told him to head to the Customer's Service desk on L2 as they can navigate on the computer on the specific brand. He then insulted me saying I don't know anything and mumbling probably some more insults.

SIGH.

Other than those 2 boneheads, there were some lovely customers that made my day so much better. Customers who greet me with smiles and enthusiasm deserve cookies or smth.

Let's hope Day 2 of work tomorrow goes well!

First Day of Work

I am totally nervous.

I went out today with my mum and bro and got tons of stuff JUST for work ( I mean come on really)
Since I am manning the customer service desk, I have to look nice...for once. I got M.A.C makeup, contact lenses, hair gel , tailored black pants, work shoes. Sigh might as well take my whole pay check.

I need to wake up early tomorrow since I have to do an hours worth of blogilates exercise, get dressed, pack my lunch and head out of the door before 8.

Wish me tons of luck guys. Let's hope I don't freak people out at the service desk with lipstick on my teeth.

2k13

We didn't die of the supposed Mayan Apocalypse.
The gang rape victim in Delhi didn't survive. (RIP)
Gangnam Style reached a billion views.
A teenage girl in Pakistan got shot for being active in role of fighting for education for girls.
A truckload of viral videos have circled around the net.
And another year goes by.
Pretty sure other fucked up shit happened but I can't remember trolol


Anyways, I started the New Year with a bang yesterday.At midnight, I watched the fireworks from the Singapore flyer with my bro and dad whilst we ate Popeyes chicken (lol) . I did 45 mins of HIIT cardio the following morning and ate healthily. And...I basically read fanfics and watched Pewdie and AllShamNoWow play games on Youtube hehe

Today I woke up and commenced by blogilates calendar! Which meant 15 push ups , followed by a series of cardio videos! And yes, I literally was sweating bullets. Like they say, sweat is just fat crying!

This #jaNEWary I aim to kick of my healthy regime. Which means YOLO meals are restricted to once a week.

My Resolutions:
- Make Healthier choices
- Complete the blogilates calendar up to Dec 2013
- Do my best in school
- Don't bother about unnecessary people
- Be more self confident
- Save money
- Learn a new language
- Be nicer to people, but not too nice if not they'll just take advantage of you hmph

.... I think that's it? Well I hope so cause that's quite abit of expectation.

Though, I hope that my family will be more fortunate this year and come up again.

Let's see where the Year of Snake takes us to.